The day was December 8th of 2016. It was like any other day, getting up in the morning going to school, with the single exception that it was the day of our orchestra concert. Like any other orchestra concert, the nerves never came until I was actually sitting at my stand, instrument in hand ready to play. Now if I had to recall all the other orchestra performances i’ve ever had, i'd tell you identical situations happened every year. The nerves would get to me and i'd mess up give or take 3 or 4 times but at the end of the day I was proud of myself. However, this wasn't like those last times, oh no, far from it.
To start, I was sitting first stand second chair, and don’t get me wrong, in class I sit first stand but for concerts? Not even once. That was only one of the contributing factors to my breakdown. The second, my mother was in the crowd …show more content…
Be that as it may, I had messed up way more than the usual three to four times and i managed to forget how to count certain rhythms, and throughout the playing, my body had gone cold, then hot and then cold again. You could only imagine the relief I felt when our performance was over. Completely off the stage now, I felt shamed that I wasn't able to stick through with my resolution, then came the tears. Lame I know, trust me. In my head I was thinking okay this year I guess I wont try out for chamber again. The rest was a blur my mom had shown me the video of the performance, and i'll admit it sounded quite nice with the offhand fact that I still felt the shame that came from my messing up. You couldn’t hear it, but I know I messed up and I guess that stuck around like a pin in my