A Modest Proposal for Helping the People in the World Get Rid of the Biggest Problem Being Faced since the Time That Slavery had Taken Place If one had to choose the most crucial, and serious problem in our society today, among the alarmingly high amounts of murder and rape, the influx of legal and illegal immigrants, corrupt politicians and law enforcement, sexual abuse through spouses and children, homelessness, and poverty, there is one problem occurring that simply must not continue. That problem is homosexuality. Homosexuality is an issue faced everywhere in the world, especially America. Men turn their backs on women, and vice versa. Homosexual males speak in particularly inarticulate tongue, dressing in flamboyant clothing; the bright colors blinding for many straight couples on the streets. Now, that’s not the worst of these homosexuals. They are befriending women, being loyal to them by keeping their secrets, and giving them advice, such as to find a better man to date, because they aren’t being treated the way they should. Many religions that people practice, Christianity included, claim that “God loves all of his children.” This refers to everyone except for homosexuals. Same sex loving men are bound to go to hell. They most certainly are not children of God. One should not think of them as people who were once babies that laughed and cried just like everyone else. These people are abominations to mankind, and according to many protests, will burn in Hell. Do not have fear, because there is a way homosexuality can no longer be a problem in our world. My modest proposal is if these gays are to burn in hell once they die, why should we wait until they grow old? We should burn them alive and in a public place. This burning in public is very important because then the American population will get something out of it. They will feel like their souls have been cleansed from the diseases the gays transmitted. One can bring their friends and family to these events. They can pull up a lawn chair, sit down with a bag of popcorn, and have a front row seat to watching sinners scream and die. Also, this will be a perfect example to show the younger generations in the family that God really only loves people who are attracted to the opposite sex. If one is really lucky while attending these events, there could be more flesh added to the fire by adding in any bisexuals in the crowd. This would work out very well for many reasons. First, the most important reason for the people is that it will rid the land of the homosexuals. Once that occurs, everyone will feel safe and secure. Second, since there will be a decreasing amount of homosexuals, the population will reduce, meaning the economy will thrive. Third, the resources once used to feed and house them will pour back into the local financial institutes. The fourth reason is there will be only one type of romantic relationship which is between a man and a woman. People will not have to be troubled by the attempting to figure out someone’s sexuality. Also, there will be no worry that anyone, especially children, is subjected to seeing a same sex couple ever again. Fifth of all, they will no longer be able to influence our culture and fashion trends, as they have done in the past. Last, but not least, “gay” will once again describe happiness and not the foul orientation that the homosexuals subject us to. Despite all of these wonderful benefits, there will be arguments from
