BALLISTIC is a proposed new series. The concept for the series has merit. The idea of using a killer to catch a killer is very intriguing and one can envision a series with this premise. In fact, the idea reminds one of an old classic TV Series called To Catch a Thief (1968, inspired by an Alfred Hitchcock film) that ran for three years.
The tone is consistently dramatic. The action is well crafted. The goal of the series seems clear and the stakes for the protagonist are high.
What gives this proposed series a unique hook is the idea of he protagonist having a traumatic brain injury that makes his emotions unpredictable. This feels refreshing and very original. In fact, one of the best scenes is when he begins crying and then kills the…show more content… This is beyond one’s leap of faith. It becomes too obscure with the idea of Apothis and the Serpent of Chaos, as well as the weapon of God. Dialogue like, “Apothis will bring chaos and ignite the world in flames,” just isn’t very compelling. Based the story or series more on reality and credible events.
The scene with Simon and Jacob is well done regarding revealing that Sterling is alive and with the action of Jacob grabbing the pen. It’s unpredictable and shocking.
The idea of Fuller only giving them 48 hours or the task force will be shut down feels contrived to create a ticking clock. It’s not really needed.
It’s challenging to fully grasp how Julie’s brother, who was beaten and killed in San Francisco, is suddenly connected to this plotline.
As mentioned, the idea of the unpredictable emotions is very intriguing and makes Simon a more complex character. However, this gets lost in the pilot. The crying scene is great, but on page 56, the story tends to tell and explain versus show his unpredictable emotions.
Remember, the audience can’t see: “…as the feelings overcome him. A million emotions that he can no longer bury. For the moment, he is exposed…” None of that is “seen” by the audience. This has to be conveyed visually or
