1. I like this because: I like this essay, because it has clear topic sentence and thesis statement, which is portraying the writer had hard time to overcome her conflict that she got bully, because of her last name. This essay is easy to comprehend. The writer suggests vivid two different culture identifiers between her and her classmates, which are the Chinese culture and the Vietnamese culture. The writer’s bullied because of her last name is “Ong”, which is common last name in China, but it means old male, or grandfather in Vietnamese. I enjoyed this essay, because there are detail supportings that how the writer expressed her emotion toward the conflict and how she solves the problem.
1. Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph?
Yes, there are a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph.
2. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis?
Yes, all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis.
Your comments: This essay has a clear and strong thesis statement in the introductory paragraph, “it was a difficult time for me to define my cultural identity because I was getting…show more content… The writer is explaining why and how the incident happened and the result occurred over the time. The begging of her essay contains the time that she started realized that she is different than other classmates when she was fifth grade. She gives an information that her last name means an old man, or a grandfather in Vietnamese. The classmates start to make fun of her last name, because it seems not familiar to them. As times goes, people even bully her and she went to her parent to ask about her last name and tell what happened to her last few days. Parents helped her to fight with her conflict and she finally found herself how to overcome her unfortunate circumstances. The writer is using the transitions to connect sentences and ideas, but I wish this essay has stronger and more
