I told him I hadn’t much use for this thing, especially not for reminding myself of those dreaded memories.The Doctor has insisted with his sweet and persuasive words that I do, if only to amuse myself for a temporary stay here.Oh, but the way he insisted, one might think he was fascinated by me.You could say that young men are akin to the ‘forbidden fruit’ of Eden .I desire them, I lust them,but I cannot pursue them.
I reckon life here isn’t so bad after all. It is not the same as Belle Reve and surely it’s not that dreadful poker house . However I must admit ,this place does need refurbishing- the curtains are grey and washed out and each room is completely deprived of the personal touch, like a prison cell ,if you will. What more, they appeared to have mislaid my belongings-my precious treasure chest. The one with my glistening pearls, gold bracelets, the rhinestone tiara that I wore to the costume ball and my soft silk gowns.Oh, how I adore…show more content… Just like a predator pounces on his feeble prey.What he did, I will never forget.It takes me back to the day that Allen shot himself, another part of me has crumbled, I am scarred for life. Could it have been the fact that I was a little drunk? Or was my night gown too provoking? What must have driven that brute insane with desire?He may simply have taken advantage of the isolation but honestly, I suspect it was simply to attack me with my past.
All these years I have tried to put my past behind, wash away my sins. Those long,frequent baths that I took at the apartment were not meaningless. They unnerved me. Every time I came out of the bathroom after those magnificent baths, I felt like a new,pure,sane woman. Until that Polack started having a problem with that too, my baths became less frequent and long, I started going insane, I turned to liquor to make me feel less miserable. He even destroyed the one chance that I had
