Maybe it wasn’t the right hour for setting out, the sun too blazing or too uncertain. Maybe it was a road that belonged to another, never really yours… I think to myself as someone forces me into a restricted paddy-wagon
I hear a faint voice drag its way throughout the car and dawdle its way through my ears “Im sorry Jeremy to take you away from your family, but we will be looking after you now” I lick my lips “Where am I going?” with my breath as dry as bourbon I screech “Why am I here?” My right hand slowly makes its way to the seatbelt that rests upon my right leg “Jeremy it’s for the best” A needle has pierced its way through my neck I am feeling weak and unclear my mind is a blur. I mumble out “Please… I… don’t… belong here” before being forced into a deep slumber.
I awaken roughly 7 hours later in an insignificant cramped room, restraining my hand from blood flow is a wristband that says Bloomfield Mental Hospital, patient: 328, Jeremy Smith, 25 years of age. Finally some form of explanation as to why I occupy this frightful cell! I groan “That’s not exactly what I wanted to read” My teeth try to tear the wristband from my body… it won’t budge maybe it’s just meant to stay around endlessly, branding me for what im not “Mentally messed up” untying me from everyone else. I walk up to the iron door and rest my lesser head against its cold appearance, beyond this door is an unexplained environment, an environment I am now attached to. In my ‘Cell’ there’s a tiny window, and out of that window you can just see the greenest patch of grass and a road that is stretched so far it has no ending just over the towering walls that separate me from the rest of the world. I stare at that little patch of grass questioning if I’ve ever actually felt grass upon my feet, If I’ve ever rolled around in the grass for so long that I start to itch, Have I ever driven along a road for so long that I end up in the middle of nowhere? Am I living or am I just breathing? I lay my head against my pillow and pull my blankets up over my body with just my head poking out. “What have I done to be here” A voice echoes its way down the hall “We are all screwed up in the head if you can’t already tell by your wristband you uneducated idiot” The voice loiters around my mind for a good couple of minutes, I reply with “How many of you are there”? “Read your wrist band all the numbers before yours should answer your stupid question” well I guess I deserved that one…
Closing my eyes and trying to force myself to sleep I ponder about what has taken place in my life for me to get to this dejected place
March 24th 1999, Age 10, year 5, I was sitting 2nd row in Ms. Shannon’s class, closest to the window furthest from the door in my row. Outside the window was the greenest patch of grass and a road that connects the school to the rest of the town, the road stretched so far it had no ending if I were to walk along it I’d be in the middle of nowhere. I remember always taking my shoes off to run and roll on the grass during my lunch break till I got itchy. Every Thursday at 1:25pm during lunch a group of year 6 boys would stand in a line and throw stones at me, mumbling out comments, spitting hateful words down my throat. I couldn’t take it anymore that was the day I…
Going from cell to cell I hear,
“Breakfast will be served in the dining hall in approximately 15 minutes”
“Breakfast will be served in the dining hall in approximately 15 minutes”
“Breakfast will be served in the dining hall in approximately 15 minutes”
Repeatedly over and over again! If that doesn’t wake everyone else up I don’t know what will! I move immediately to the dining hall to escape the order of words that turned into lyrics. Assigned seats for every patient to keep peace, I waddle my way over to the second last table where the numbers begin to end 324, 325, 326, 327…
328 assigned seat is on