Essay about buss comm

Student nameMirella Utomo S00506517 (The boxes provided below should be expanded electronically) Section 1 Reflection on writing diagnostic seminar Copy your letter from the week 3 seminar into the box below. In the same box, include the comments written in class by your peer reviewer which relate to the 6 criteria for effective communication covered in week 1 (practical, factual, concise, clear, persuasive and building goodwill). State whether you agree/disagree with your peer reviewers comments and why (150-250 words, word count not including letter itself) Letter Customer Care Letter To Graham Philips HYPERLINK mailtogphilips@hotmail.com gphilips@hotmail.com From Mirella Utomo mirellautomo@hotmail.com Thank you for writing to us about your concern and we are delighted to help. The tickets for the match went on sale three weeks ago. Most of the fans received their tickets on time, either by post or collected by hand several days before the match. Within purchasing your match tickets we informed the fans to arrive early in order to get the tickets and seatings sorted beforehand, even though a lot of fans were still late. We understand that there was lots of late purchases online the night before. Due to this, we have arranged extra ticket collection point as well as extra marshals and staff to help the fans out. The match start time was delayed 15 minutes in order to sort out further seats and most of them got to their seats within the extra time. We hope you can understand that there are no compensation. Hopefully you can come back and experience a better match at our Tottenham Football Club Stadium next time. Yours sincerely, Mirella Utomo Peer Review/ Agree or Disagree Practical The letter clearly states the situation, and the measures the club went to, in order to avoid the ticket wait times. Ex We understand that there was lots of late purchases online the night before. Due to this, we have arranged extra ticket c.p, extra marshalls and staff to help out. I think you did a good job in this category outlining what happened, and it does not evoke a response. Agree I agree that the letter states the situation that went on during the match (as detailed as possible) without making the email lengthy. This is because there are clear three main points I tried to show (the first one about the tickets, second about timing and extra marshals and last about no compensation). Factual Your letter includes all of the information in the framework (all of the bullet-points on the list) You dont give any misleading information, everything is a clearly stated fact Agree I agree with my peers comment, I included all the bullet points on the list provided by the professor. I did not add any other information it was straight to the point. Concise Your letter was very concise, but maybe too much so. It would be good to add in some connecting sentences, instead of just stringing together facts. I would use more transition words to move from one idea to the next Agree I did not add any connecting sentences or add any sympathy to the letter. Therefore it was very straight to the point and I agree that it might be a bit too much to the point. It would be better if I showed some kind words (maybe like unfortunately, unlucky etc) to create a better (or positive) feel to the letter. I also agree that I should have added transition words in order to create a better flow and sympathy to the victim. Clear Double check your grammar, the letter should be in past tense i.e Due to this we have arranged extra The event is in the past so the sentence should be Due to this we arranged... Other grammar We hope you can understand that they are no compensation should be We hope you can understand that there IS no compensation. As compensation is singular. More We understand that there was lots should be We understand that there WERE A LOT More mistakes, just go through and double check everything (ask me if you want any help) The lack of

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