At first I wasn’t but now I am. My role as a student had a rough beginning due to the death of family members and friends. After figuring out what is truly important to me, life became easier. Going through life without ever having money has influenced my need for achievement. My parents have always been able to provide for my brothers and I but, not all of us were able to experience the luxuries our friends were able to. I have always had the desire to have nice things. I was at home one day surrounded by chaos, constant yelling, and noise all around. I received a phone call from my best friends asking me to go to the movies. I told them I couldn’t go because I didn’t have any money. They told me to ask my parents for some money. I told them that my parents didn’t have any money to give me so I couldn’t go. Having to say that made me feel embarrassed and sad that I wasn’t able to join them. They got mad not only at me but at my parents for not having money. My experience was similar to the writer of “Zero” because I felt left out not being able to participate in certain activities with my friends. I was feeling frustrated because they just didn’t understand the situation I was in. I hung up the phone
Feinhals 2 feeling, sad, embarrassed, and frustrated. Being surrounded by all the noise and chaos didn’t help. I then went to my room, sat in my corner, and cried. To be able to have nice things you need money. My parents never completed college and have worked blue collar jobs their whole lives. Having experienced seeing how stressed out they get by not having any money to pay the bills or get food has really motivated me to go to school, get a degree, and be able to provide for myself and someday a family. As written in “The Need for Achievement” I believe to have learning goals. I always have the willingness to learn more about things I can’t fully perform or understand. I have encountered some major road blocks in my life that have taken my focus away from my education. The death of my grandparents took a big toll on me. For years I had watched my grandma suffer from breast cancer that had spread to her bones. The day came when she passed away, I was fifteen years old holding her hand as my family and I said our last goodbyes and she peacefully went. After her death I had become very depressed and lost focus in school. I was forced to change schools due to my academics. I had gone from going to private catholic school my whole life to going to a public high school the middle of my sophomore year. Just as I was getting settled into this new school my grandpa passed away. Losing them and going through this transition had put a terrible impact on my academics. Just as I was getting my focus back I get a phone call saying my best friend was just found dead due to a drug over dose. At this point I had absolutely no motivation to do anything and was very depressed. Soon after his death I saw there had been a fire and there was one teenager that had died later identified as Luke Upton, another best friend of mine. Once this had
Feinhals 3 happened I felt like God hated me and that there was