He didn't know how to he didn't know if he could he was having flashbacks of everything that was going on with his life You don't understand he says it has to be somebody's fault.Or what's the whole goddamn point(224).Conrad need to blame all the things that were happening to him on someone he when he saw that he couldn't he would put all the blame on himself making everything much harder for him he just could let it out he didn't know how