Bet he saw me on Colbert. "Yeah. I'm the guy that whacked the Butcher." DS motioned as though he was slitting his own neck. One of the officers drew his gun. DS put his hands up. "Oh God. Please... please! Hands up! Don't shoot!!" Another agent signaled to the gun toting one. "Down Officer." That other officer, much shorter but equally as meaty, slowly lowered his gun. "Now, Mr. Strait, can you tell me where you're off to this fine afternoon?" "Well, if I make my flight," DS checked his iPhone, "and that's a big if, I'm off to Shawnee Oklahoma to help my grandmother with some things around the house. Grammy Flo." The officers all made suspicious eye contact. "Your Grammy Flo?" "Exactly. You see, I was just on the Jimmy Fallon Show last night. I mentioned her." "Hmmmm, were you now?" The doubt was palpable. "And I guess you were on Jimmy Kimmel, too?" Oh my God. Here we go again. What is this with the airport gangs? "Perhaps you've heard of the Tenderloin Butcher?" "Well, of course. Who hasn't?" The larger officer began an invasive pat down that climaxed with a giant lingering grope of DS's groin. He, the officer, that is, seemed to enjoy the linger. "Strait. I'm …show more content…
"No. In fact, they didn't. But, I'm the guy who killed him. I killed the Tenderloin Butcher." "Sure. Sure you did." "Hey, what about the Sky Zoo?" DS tried to rally enthusiasm. "You guys see that? Anyone got kids? Need a 3D pet for a birthday party? I'm the man!" DS did all but a song and dance. "Suuurrrree you are." The Officer who once had the gun drawn was clearly mocking DS. "Honest. Honest truth." Truth. Where was that getting me now? Nowhere with these guys who are about as sharp as marbles. DS checked his phone again. The text was in all caps. He was in big trouble now: TURNING OFF PHONE BC WE'RE TAKING OFF!! "Fuck. See what you've done now? I've missed my plane." DS threw his phone. "What now? I'm stranded in hell and my travel partner is about to be up in the heavenly skies." The officers went into alert mode and moved in on DS. One twisted his arm behind his back. A random officer poked his head inside the room. "Story checks out. Chief says release him. Doesn't matter that he's on the list. The guy's a hero." The officers backed down slowly. Well now. That's more like