It has been a long time now since I talked to you or saw you. But I had to go and I know you were not aware of me leaving. I’m sorry for making you feel worried all these years. I am writing this letter to let you know that I am safe. I believe that you have the right to know as you are my husband. Although I disagree with the way you treated me I still want to let you know that I am sorry for leaving the way I did. Going behind your back was wrong but I didn’t have the guts to tell you to your face that I am not in love with you anymore. I know that you haven’t stopped looking for me and you probably never will. I’m sorry for making you suffer. Even though you made me suffer I do not believe in hurting people because I know how it feels to be betrayed.
I was so scared to leave. I had tried many times and they always ended with a smack in the face, the pain was sharp. It was unbearable. Like a thousand needles piercing my pale skin. I can’t even explain the agony you put me through. I really thought you loved me. I thought we were going to be so happy together and have a family. But the way you treated me proved that my fairy tale was over. I have always been curious as to why? Why did you do this to me? I hope that if one day I see you in the future you can explain to me why you did this.
The day I left was the day of your business trip up to Auckland. I had been taking coins out of your wallet for a year, a little amount at a time so you didn’t notice until I had enough to leave. I changed the way I looked and changed my name. I wanted to be a completely different person to start over. I caught the ferry down to Picton and lived there for a few week, making and selling jewellery to get money. I then moved to Christchurch in a backpackers to start off with. I got a full time job and lived there for about 6 months and saved nearly every penny earned so I could afford somewhere to live. Once I had saved the money, I moved overseas.
My life here is great. I love it. I have met so many lovely people. I have a really good job. I help people who are going through domestic violence, I give them a place to stay and help them solve their situation so they can leave. It took me a lot of courage to start my business as I would get very emotional from my past with you. But I am so happy that I did it. I have so much more confidence now and I am not so scared anymore. I can’t believe that I have managed to write this letter to you. I can’t believe how far I’ve come. I hope that one day in the future I would build up enough courage to meet with you again and to sort everything between us so we can at least be civil.
I really am a different person now. I’m stronger and I believe that I have become the person I am today because of