The following event discussed which had occurred, appeared to be the Defensive method (by Gibbs), took place on a college campus (specifically Kean University) during April of 2013 around the last week of the month. To be more specific, the setting was during nighttime around 10pm, because I get out of class at 9:45pm and had walk straight to Kyle’s dorm because he wanted to talk.
Kyle:
You’re not fine. If you’re fine, you wouldn’t be sitting on the floor just staring at the floor.
Me:
But I am fine. I just really don’t feel like talking to anyone and the floor is comfortable.
Kyle:
Look you’re acting like a child looking for attention just get up and talk to me.
Me:
*Looks down, and covers face*
Kyle:
If you’re not going to talk to me then what’s the point in you even being here! I tried to talk to you and all you do is sit there and say that you’re fine when you are clearly not.
Me:
I wanted to talk about why I’m feeling down. But how am I supposed to when you just keep saying that I’m acting like a child just because I would prefer to sit on the floor right now. If you think that I’m acting like a child then I suppose that is nothing more to talk about. Don’t text for a while I just want to be left alone.
Kyle:
And there you go, being overdramatic again! Go ahead and leave then, because you’re the one acting like a little kid.
Me:
(Runs out of room)
In the conversation I started to become defensive from the start of the argument. Upon being told by “Kyle” that I was not alright, even though I had previously told him I was, it had resulted in him taking an offensive route and I, the defensive. I had gotten defensive, due to the fact that I did not want to talk about what had been bothering me to avoid creating drama and or troubling Kyle with the burden (or what I would have thought to be a burden at the time) of discussing the reason I was not feeling so cheery.
In regards to the methods that Gibbs introduces in the defensive matters, I seem to believe that I played the “Strategy” role. Reasoning behind my conclusion is because throughout the conversation I had repeatedly told Kyle I was fine and there was nothing wrong. Even though I did not do a very good job, however does not change the fact that I had tried to manipulate him into thinking that everything was alright in order to change the topic. Now, Gibbs has more ‘Defensive Methods’ than just the ‘Strategy’ one. However, the reasons I did use other methods were simply because I do not feel they were used in this situation. Evaluation (which are one of the strategies), I do not particularly find used in this conversation was due to the fact that I could not recall at any time using any language to suggest or better yet make a judgment on Kyle.
Regarding Superiority, I did not consider myself invoking in any role to make me seem as a higher person rather I would accept the fact that I was acting “childish” in the situation. Ultimately this made me want to leave. In terms of the Neutrality method, I did find the situation to be my problem because I had reason to believe that I was indeed bringing trouble into Kyle’s room and was bugging him, rather than saying that the whole conversation was “not my fault” entirely. Finally, the last defensive method discussed, is the ‘Certainty’ method. Although it could appear that I am trying to act always right in the conversation, I also am agreeing with Kyle that I am acting like a child rather than ignoring what he is saying and just repeatedly claiming that I am in act right.
This behavior is highly typical of me. Personally I do not like to talk about my personal issues and feel very uncomfortable when people bring such topics up. It is also not uncommon of me to quickly deny that something is wrong and if pressured, I am highly likely to run away. After reviewing the conversation, there is a better way than how the original
