Looking for Love It is with great hesitation that I say this, but I do believe it is safe to say that spring is here. In the coming weeks, flowers will be in bloom, the birds will be returning, and love should permeate the air for most. However, Cupid’s arrow is not known for its straight path. For those who the well-intentioned archer shoots wide of, there exists the craigslist personals section. The question is how does one sort through the mess to find what they are looking for? Armed with the three theories of attraction, I will find the ideal mates. In my first search, I attempt to find a promising personal using the evolutionary perspective, which suggests that biological characteristics and fitness for mating are the driving forces behind attraction. (Aronson p. 277) Not long after, we encounter “Physically fit,” a 47 year-old women seeking a man, from North Pittsburgh. She wastes no time before describing her fitness for mating, noting her active lifestyle, physical fitness, and intelligence in the first sentence. Next, she notes her advanced degree and good career, suggesting to us that she has the resources as well as a good capability to bear children. On top of this, she notes that in addition to lifting weights five to six times a week, she also does yoga; she hints at flexibility, an important consideration for safety of childbirth. Throughout the whole advertisement, nothing is mentioned of personal beliefs or hobbies. In fact, everything mentioned revolved around her biological and financial fitness to bear a child.
Leaving “Physically fit,” I look at a second ad, this time using equity theory. This idea suggests that the ideal relationship is one where resources, responsibilities, and benefits are spread equally. (Aronson p. 290) Here we find “young professional seeks tall, into sports, sense of humor,” a 28 year-old woman from Pittsburgh. Right away, she describes her desire for equity in the potential relationship, mentioning that she has a degree and makes good money; a man wouldn’t need to provide for her. However, her desire for equity also extends to the man. She notes that a mate would need his own job, place, and car. This suggests that she does not want to be a sugar mama any more than she wants a sugar daddy. Lastly, she mentioned that she enjoys art, and that she wants a man with an equal interest in the arts and culture. It seems here that the operative idea is equality.
After looking at “Young professional,” I search one last time. Now, I use social exchange theory, which holds that the best choice for a partner is one that can provide them with the most benefits at the least cost. (Aronson p. 287) I quickly find “Long term beneficial relationship,” a man seeking a woman in Pittsburgh. He describes himself as ready to get down to business and his ad is all about the benefits. He waxes on about everything he will provide for his partner, including fast cars, dinners, museums, and living life to the fullest, while never providing any sort of requirements for his mate but that she is attractive and enjoys all these things. While this certainly seems like a good setup for any woman, one has to wonder how long such a one-sided relationship would go on for in good standing.
After looking through the jungle that is the craigslist personals section, it seems that I have found three people looking for love, or something like it, using three different strategies. Some cite their physical fitness for mating; others stress their desire for an equal partnership, while many simply explain all that they can do for a lover. What they share is a desire to find a partner that wants the same out of a relationship that they do, and Craigslist seems to be yet another coral reef in a sea of single fish.
Works Cited
Aronson, E., Wilson, T., & Akert, R. (2010). Social psychology. (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.
Craigslist Ads
Physically Fit - 47 (North Pgh)
Hi, I am a very active
