I’ve known people who feel so much shame about themselves that they never allow themselves to feel good about themselves. They never take pride in things they do, and they generally talk down about themselves. If someone compliments them, they have a hard time accepting the compliment. Somewhere along the line, someone has caused them to feel a deep sense of shame that has stuck with them for years, and which they’re having a hard time shaking off.
Disillusions can be defined as disappointment that you feel when you realize something that you thought wasn’t or when you realize that something you thought was good is not as good as you believe it was. There has been few times when I felt disillusion throughout my entire life. Having just graduating high school, I was now facing a other challenge of getting a new job. Every summer since I was sixteen I have hunted tirelessly for the right summer job . My parents always told me to not be lazy and get a job, like if it was that easy to get one.
One of those times was when I got my first time job which was work as an associate retail. Let me tell u it’s not the best job or the worst job. My first thoughts were that it was going to be easy thing to find it job. But it wasn’t I search and search for new jobs everywhere but nothing. Everyone in my family thought I would never find a job, and that I wasn’t trying hard enough to find one which I actually was. They just didn’t believe me because they always saw me in my phone texting.
I always ask my myself why wouldn’t nobody hire me. I was available full time any day any time since I just graduated from high school. Then I started thinking that they rejected me because I just didn’t have enough experience at all, so I guess that without experience we cannot get employed but at the same time if they didn’t give us an opportunity to at least experience then how am I suppose to know about it or learn about it. Another thing that I probably thought that they rejected me was when the lack of references I use in my application, I accept using my school from tutor and women whose children I babysit may not be the most professional way to mention to impress them but I feel that employers could be more understanding of students trying to gain employment for the first time. I remember that I did get calls to have an interview but they all turn me down for some reason. I actually was happy and confident when I was schedule for an interview because I always said to myself I could do this. It seems that the managers like me in everything because we would be laughing and smiling and everything but I have no reason why they wouldn’t hire me that put me down because it made me feel like I was a nobody. And they actually put my hopes up because they would tell me to come in for a second interview, or they would say well give you a call in between this week or so. It put me down because everything they said it was it just a lie. I called in couple times to check on of what was going on and they turn me down saying that the managers aren’t here call back a other day. It got me irritated when I heard that. I would prefer for them to just tell me right there if I got it or not. So I won’t keep bothering them and for me not wasting my time. So about a month or two months I finally got a call from this retail store which was kohl for an interview. Once again I felt pretty confident on myself. Let me tell you this I went to the interview , it was easy interview because they ask me specific questions about my life of what I was good at, what were my plans in the future, what I do with an angry customer, and if I like working with customers. It was a group interview so they turn down some people by asking them to leave but I survive and made it through. I was so happy, excited and confident that I knew I was going to get that job. When the interview ended the managers didn’t tell us if we were