“I regret that no one taught me how to love.” (Daas 148). Love is a difficult topic, regardless of one's own identity or life. It involves a process of self-discovery through others. However, this process can be interrupted as often as it can occur. For example, throughout history, non-heterosexual identities have often been a subject of controversy, making all forms of love between those of the same gender far more difficult than their heterosexual counterparts. This difficulty is even more significant in the face of a conservative environment or family, such as in the case of Fatimah Daas's intersectional autofiction, “The Last One,” where the main character must contend with the contradictions between her family, religion, and sexuality.…show more content… Even when attempting to reconcile her sexuality and her religion, an imam she talks to claims “God created sin knowing that we would sin,” (Daas 2021). Furthermore, according to The New York Times, Daas herself, when “asked if, like her character, she believed that being a lesbian made her a sinner, Daas said yes. ‘I am searching for complexity,’ she added,” (The New York Times 2021). In general, what both sources share is the conflict between religion and sexuality, or the “complexity” the author herself alludes to. While many pieces of media may try to fully reconcile this contradiction or deem it impossible, neither option is necessarily accurate. With the imam as a prominent example, the author makes this contradiction of sexuality and religion painfully clear, yet never attempts to reduce her sexuality to what it is not. Instead, the author presents the contrast directly to the reader, simultaneously asserting it as a fundamental aspect of her identity. The moment with the imam is indicative of the omnipresence of her identity; she believes that neither her religion nor her sexuality can comfortably coexist but feels the need to reconcile issues regardless. This contradiction presents a much less alterable type of social pressure. Regardless of how she understands her identity, this fundamental contradiction…show more content… One of the most prominent examples of this concept occurs when Nina asks the narrator about her family, to which she thinks of her father telling her that “watercolor doesn’t block oily stains, that they end up showing through those paintings that everyone finds so miraculous,” and her mother advising her to “leave [her] problems at home” (Daas 155-156). Within these smaller moments, the author paints a telling picture of how social pressure affects the narrator. On one hand, she might prefer to leave her “problems at home.” However, on the other hand, her problems are often closer to “oily stains.” Even when she is in a situation away from her family and any other social pressure, she cannot help but fixate on the advice of her parents. Contrary to her mother's suggestion, watercolor indeed cannot cover ink. This has a dual effect on the way she interacts with others and perceives herself. It both intensifies the inhibitory effect of social pressure and extends its reach, as evidenced by the prominent contrast between each quote as well as the context in which the narrator recalls them. Naturally, the voices of her parents, and especially her intensely homophobic father, have an impedimentary effect on her self-discovery. It is, of course, far more difficult to reach self-discovery when attempts are met with memories that remind
