September 12, 2013
Gone in Seconds Sitting here writing this paper still doesn’t seem realistic. I never thought that I could alter my thoughts, values, and existence off an event that happened in seconds. Nor did I ever consider driving as a perilous task, but just as something we needed to do to get by. Prolonged car trips used to be one of the most therapeutic methods for me. I can sit there with my hair blowing out the window, blasting Spice Girls reminiscing back to my teen days. It was my happy place. I was going to meet my sister at her house which was about two and a half hours away, and Los Angeles, where we were going to see a concert that night, was in the middle of us both. I planned on staying the night, so I packed my homework and my puppy and headed out the door around noon. It was miserably hot outside that day, and I could literally see squiggles throughout the freeway form like jelly fish under everyone’s cars. Traffic was miserable, and every car that drove past me listening to Jay Z to NPR radio, was just as miserable as me. There is nothing worse that traffic except when it clears up and everyone decides to put the metal to the pedal. After everyone picked up speed it was smooth sailing, and a second later a complete shipwreck. The freeway was splitting into two right as the traffic ended, because of that everyone scurried around like an ant farm interrupted by a footstep. I was in the fast lane when suddenly I see a flash of white followed by a faint of blue. The glass shattered like glitter, and the noise was loud but muffled by my own memory. My once cooled car turned to fire, and my thoughts were limited. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t think about family, friends, or anything that made me who I am. The only thing I could think and feel was “Please, not now.”, as I spun out across the highway like a hockey puck that everyone luckily was able to dodge. My dog had been pushed through her kennel, but somehow still wagging her tail with excitement, perhaps she was just happy to be out of her box. The car started to fill up with black musky smoke, I came to my senses and tried to pull my key from the ignition. My little pup didn’t have a clue we were still stuck in a box. I gave up on the keys and reached for the door. It was getting hot quick and I was seconds away from a full on panic attack. Being in my twenties I genuinely thought that I could handle myself in all situations, but I needed to let go and allow others in. Either I couldn’t user my muscles or the door was not able to open from the inside, because for the life of me I couldn’t get out. I pounded on the window hoping I could break it. I screamed for help until my throat dried up and cracked, finally; a young man opened my door and I fell to the floor. I quickly got up and handed him the dog as others assisted me towards the emergency side of the freeway. I walked over to the other party of the accident with glass still sticking out of my hands and arms hoping everyone was okay. Thankfully, I was able to take my first deep breathe seeing that everyone was alright. Life seemed foggy at that point, and as crazy as it sounds everyone became familiar to me. One firefighter looked like my father’s lifetime friend, another young woman that stood by me looked identical to a client I work with, and one particular officer who resembled my uncle who was also a police officer. Maybe my mind playing tricks on me or trying to find some sort of comfort by connecting these people to the individuals in my life. I called my sister before I was swallowed by the medical equipment. I told her I had been in an accident, but I don’t think she really knew the extent of it considering I was the one giving her this information. After I hung up and told her where I was they began to wrap a brace around my neck and prepared an orange-flat plastic board that I would be strapped to. There were so many different officers and paramedics asking me the