Marshal Ma
Professor Currey
ENG 1A
April 1st, 2014 Happiness or Success? Chinese Mothers Choose the Latter Amy Chua, known as “the Tiger Mother”, shocked the world with her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, which records how Chua raises her children in a stereotypically successful way. In her book, Chua mentions that her two daughters, Sophia and Lulu, have a list of things that they are never allowed to do including attending a sleepover, having a play date, being in a school play, watching TV or playing computer games, choosing their own extracurricular activities, getting any grade less than an “A”, playing any instrument other than piano or violin (1). Under extremely strict parenting, Sophia and Lulu have been getting straight A’s in most of their classes, and Sophia has already become a student of Harvard University. Chua’s way of parenting and education is a typical “Chinese” style. It is supported and adopted in many Chinese families, yet it is controversial and has a lot of opponents, especially in western countries. The extremely strict rules set up by Chua are considered by many people to be unreasonable and harmful for children, preventing them from having a healthy and happy childhood. What is a successful parenting? Should our children be happy or should they be successful? Is Chua’s way truly a superior one to educate children? Although opponents of Chua consider her approach of education unacceptable, I believe that it is one of the most effective ones. While Chua stops her children from having a play date, watching TV and playing computer games, opponents argue that childhood is a time when we should have fun and we need to have fun. More importantly, children can still learn while they are having fun. Angela Skinner Mullen, a mother of two kids shares how her son developed his own video game with his friend and posted it online during their play date, sharing their happiness as well as learning. “They collaborated, they designed, they tried new things…they had a blast. When they suit up for work someday, I’m sure those skills will serve them well whatever they choose to pursue” (1). People have been learning since they were born. But the way we learn should vary depending on what stage of our lives we are in. Opponents believe that in the stage of childhood, we have the right to have fun. And in this particular time, learning while having fun is a better way for us. Opponents also feel very uncomfortable with Chua’s harsh requirements in her daughters’ academic performance. As Chua says in the article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” if her daughters come home with an A-minus on a test, she is likely to “gasp in horror” and ask what went wrong. If her daughters get a B, “stupid”, “worthless” may be used on them, which is what any “Chinese mother” would say while it’s almost impossible to be heard in a western family (3). Opponents believe that the kind of react on our children will cause a severe problem, a lack of self-esteem. Baolian Qin, a professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at Michigan State University, has done a research on strict parenting in Chinese immigrant families. She found a lot more depression and stress in children educated in those families. “If you’re doing well, you should be feeling good. But what I’ve found persistently in my research is that that’s not the case” (1). Chua says Chinese mothers’ way of education is superior, but under the “superior” way of education, children are not able to feel good even if they are doing well. Opponents believe that there must be something wrong with it. The strict education is not superior at all. Most importantly, opponents argue that it is not worth sacrificing a child’s freedom and happiness for glories and wealth in his future. Richness doesn’t equal happiness. Successful parenting helps children become happy instead of being rich and successful. Although opponents
