How to go broke Essay

Submitted By abcmaker123
Words: 608
Pages: 3
Open Document
Alex Davis
Mrs. Rose
AP Lang- 6
3 December 2014
How to Go Broke Money is something that capitalist America can either be achieved or ascribed. This currency in the form of green paper is seen as the Holy Grail within most households, and is considered the ultimate prize for the average worker. Although seemingly difficult, the loss of money is one of the easiest things to do in this proud country, and with the right amount of help within 3 simple steps, can be brought about almost instantly and without effort.
Step 1: get a hobby. The idea of “getting a hobby” is an insidious scheme by marketers to steal your money away from more important things. Hobbies are thought of by many to bring about relief from the stresses of life and to maintain something you enjoy- although this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Hobbies steal your money from you by suggesting you “enjoy” spending money on something; when in fact, there is no such thing as enjoying spending money. This surreptitious fact is what drives many to lose money and go horribly broke. Finding a hobby is easy and comes without thought. The objective is to find a material interest, such as a collection to invest your precious dollar in to create sentiment within this material. This action, and the process of this action, can lose dollars in some cases in the millions.
Step 2: go to college. More than anything that colleges love to do, it’s to make money. Colleges are the ultimate con-artists. With crippling tuition rates and increasing student loans, colleges seem to be one of the easiest ways to go broke in America. College is an excellent and swiftly decisive method to lose all your money- and quick. In fact, most college educations only last about 4 years. That’s not much time to lose all that money. Getting into college, however, seems to be the more difficult task. But thankfully the most reliable source to gain access to anything relatively exclusive is money in itself. If a college is aware you are trying to gain access to their grounds with the intent to spend, you will be welcomely invited.
Step 3: the last, but most effective, step in losing all your money- is getting a girlfriend. Girlfriends are
Show More

Related Documents: How to go broke Essay

Usa Today and Athletes Essay

Web. 22 Oct. 2012. <http://www.complex.com/sports/2012/04/six-reasons-why-pro-athletes-going-broke-shouldnt-be-a-surprise/hip-hop-culture>. This relates to my paper because it breaks down how pro athletes blow money trying to be like entertainers in the music or acting field. Unlike pro athletes, perfomers can retire and then come back and go on tour to make money, but for athletes once their all used up there is no coming back for them. So pro athletes trying to live the rockstar lifestyle…

Words 420 - Pages 2

Why Do Athletes Get Broke

Why do athletes go broke? Like Mike Tyson, Vince young, etc make millions of dollars but after they retire they file for bankruptcy. It makes me so upset that seeing these type of things, people who had enough money to set them and their families for the rest of their lives, blew it all in because they do not know how to manage money before they were athletes. Well, most all start professional athletes are able to get endorsement way after they retire and have so much money saved up that they are…

Words 407 - Pages 2

Analysis On Why College Athletes Should Be Paid

student athletes on how to manage money. If student athletes were getting paid they would know how to Manage money when they get older because a lot of people don’t manage their money the right way. If college athletes start getting paid in college they would know how to manage money. So that way by the time they get to the professional league they would be use to managing money. After players retire some of them go broke. The reason why I think retired players go broke is because they spend…

Words 726 - Pages 3

Essay about Mine!: Profanity and Mathers Shit Head

'em stick it So sick I'm looking pale, well, that's my pigment 'Bout to go ham, ya bish, shout out to Kendrick Let's bring it back to that vintage Slim, bitch The art of MCing mixed with da Vinci and MC Ren And I don't mean Stimpy's friend, bitch Been public enemy since you thought PE was gym, bitch [Bridge:] Take your shoes off, let your hair down (Go berserk) all night long Grow your beard out, just weird out (Go berserk) all night long [Hook:] We're gonna rock this house until we…

Words 611 - Pages 3

Great American Dessert Essays

there was another effect which was very little water and trees causing the area to get the nickname “The Great American Dessert”. This drought then in return caused severe drought starting in 1931, making every famers life difficult, some even went broke! Next when drought had worsened to the point where it caused the wind to rip up soil! It also even carried tons of land and dumped huge amounts over the Great Plains! Other effects of the drought included huge storms where wind blew as well, which…

Words 566 - Pages 3

Inner Conflict In John Knowles A Separate Peace

characters Gene. Gene is struggling to maintain good grades while being best friends with Finny which makes Gene think that Finny is out to get him, so that Finny can be better than Gene. Gene battles with himself to be like Finny, and figures out how to make Finny less than him. This leads to a situation that Gene regrets and causes more conflict within Gene. John Knowles uses flashback, the setting, and symbolism to help portray the inner conflict that the characters possess. Gene recalls the…

Words 979 - Pages 4

Nothing Last Forever Essay

several valuables. Joe Nocera stated in the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (ESPN) documentary 30 for 30 - Broke, “The trait is called ‘sudden wealth effect’. It’s not like how people could win the lottery.” So with sudden large amounts of money, athletes spend recklessly on houses, jewelry, cars, and tailored suits. According to ESPN documentary 30 for 30 – Broke, most athletes first spend their paychecks on their parents. They buy their mothers and fathers new things they’ve never…

Words 1051 - Pages 5

How My X-Ray Has Affected My Life

While I was there I thought to myself, ” I hope I didn’t break my leg that bad.” It didn’t take long for the doctors to arrive to my room with the x-ray machine. After they examined my leg, I was relieved to know that I didn’t broke my leg that bad. However, I still broke my leg, yet if the x-ray machine never existed I would have…

Words 321 - Pages 2

Tristan Hammett Essay

doing this I had asked my little brother to hold my freshly bathed dog, I then turned back around to see my dog slipping out of my young brothers hands she ran to give the crying baby attention, but unfortunately instead of helping the upset child she broke its neck. On the third day I had a lot of errands to run one being going to the store. Baby was off when I first got there but at 3:00 pm she turned on with a giggle. Adding to my thoughts on baby I began to find baby embarrassing at times. What made…

Words 538 - Pages 3

Why Did The Beatles Become Famous So Fast?

in 1960, but started their path to fame in 1962. How did they become famous so fast? When The Beatles first started, they would only play gigs in Liverpool, England. Eventually, Brian Epstein, took notice of them. Epstein’s family owned the furniture/record store, NEMS. Then, in January of 1962, Epstein officially became their manager. The Beatles finally earned a recording session with EMI-Parlophone, but their original drummer, Pete Best, had to go because he didn’t have the talent to stay in the…

Words 492 - Pages 2