After recalling the secrecy of her family, she notes her struggle to side with a single culture, “sometime I hated the ghosts for not letting us talk; sometimes I hated the secrecy of the chinese” (183). ‘Sometimes’ suggests that her feelings vary under different circumstances. She does not take sides depending on her views because she is constantly changing her identity so she can fit into both cultures. While she tries embracing the values of both her family and her country, she is actually is not fitting into either. After she tries acting with American values at her home, Maxine is silenced but feels “something alive and tearing at [her] throat” (200). Something ‘alive’ has a purpose, there is something deep inside struggling to break through and gain a voice, although the voice has been caught in the wrong setting. Maxine cannot express herself properly and feels misunderstood because she does not entirely belong in a single community. She is caught between the two cultures, unable to fit into either and yet struggling to embrace