In Cold Blood Dialectical Journal

Vomit trickles down my face as I feel like I’m throwing up all my insides up. I feel as if there is a gun pointed towards my head telling me to continue to drink, it has caused me to be a slave to alcohol.

Drinking makes me feel as if I have no worries in the world, it takes the pain which consumes me away into a feeling that is unexplainable, it feels as if I am floating on a cloud. It’s not easy constantly having a smile on my face, constantly trying to please everyone around you and mask the truth, mask the pain, the pain of loneliness not one of being physically apart from another instead one of being lonely to the core that you start to question your existence, I often ask myself why am I here? it’s not like I serve any purpose anyway. These questions often come up and it bring an unbearable sadness, one that I make sure stays hidden from anyone close to me. The only cure that actually helps, alcohol.

A night out with friends is suddenly turned into a …show more content…
I can barely walk nor can I remember much about the night before, realizing all the stupid things I’ve done just leaves me with the sick stench of guilt, things I can never forget because of the embarrassment it has scarred me with. I’m barely able to make eye contact with my parents in the morning, I keep telling myself “they don’t know “but I know with their stares of disappointment that they know the truth of what I do when I go out with my friends and how I am consumed with drinking.

My friends have always been there for me and continue to be there for me, I feel safe when I go out with them , never to be judged or ridiculed and that they will always be there for me even when I fall into my worst and most darkest hole.Alcohol has consumed my life to the point where my kidneys give me excruciating pain when I have to go to the bathroom, but I am working to try and not be a slave to it

Show More

Related Documents: In Cold Blood Dialectical Journal

In Cold Blood Dialectical Journal