Intentional Change Theory

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Emotional intelligence is the phrase used to describe the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. There are several competencies that are sometimes grouped into four major components:

Self-awareness - You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior; know your strengths & weaknesses; have self-confidence.

Self-management - You're able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors; manage your emotions in healthy ways; take initiative; follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Social awareness - You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns
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One might simply extrapolate a trend of the present instead of envisioning a truly desired future self. Talking about aspirations with trusted friends or mentors can help. But identifying a clear picture of the future self one wishes to be is a foundational step in Intentional Change Theory.

2. Identify the real self

Where is one, relative to one's goals today. This step is not as easy as it sounds. In "Primal Leadership" Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee report, "We found that an alarming number of leaders do not really know if they have resonance with their organizations. Rather they suffer from CEO disease; it's one unpleasant symptom is the sufferer's near-total ignorance about how his mood and actions appear to the organization. It's not that leaders don't care how they are perceived; most do. But they incorrectly assume that they can decipher this information themselves. Worse, they think that if they are having a negative effect, someone will tell them. They're wrong." The greatest challenge is to see oneself as others do. Using multiple sources of feedback can be very useful. Many organizations use 360 reviews for all individuals in management positions. However, the self-assessments are customarily inflated because it is the start of negotiation position. [Boyatzis uses 360 reviews to measure the correlation between EQ and operating results, but he says they throw away the self-assessments as "they are largely delusional."] Identification of the actual self requires honest and objective feedback. Behavioral feedback (such as video) and psychological tests can also