If children are not additional victims of the abuse, they are tools for abusers to use to control their victims. The child’s safety can be put at risk or threatened to ensure that the victims forfeits all control to the abuser. For Becky, Leonard threatened to take Ben away where she will never find him (Weiss, 2004, 104). Like many victims, her child’s safety was equally her reason for leaving and for staying. She took what she needed and got her and Ben out of that situation. She thought of different strategies for leaving, figuring out what her situation needed in order for her to succeed. She made sure to keep in touch with a friend that would be her greatest support in her most vulnerable time (Weiss, 2004, 106). She went to a place where she knew Leonard could not follow her or threaten the people helping her. She did not look back and moved forward to help other victims make the same strides to …show more content…
Dating violence is a topic that is often over-looked for other aspects of intimate partner violence. However, her story shows how destructive dating violence can be, since the initial abuse is connected to her as what a normal relationship is. She had no past standard to compare him to, so she assumed all guys did these things like controlling what she ate and criticized her in every single way (Weiss, 2004, 120). Her ideas of what a good relationship was are warped into what Brad wanted them to be. This cause and effect thinking continued as she noticed that no one acknowledged the violence. When he scarred her chin with the hot pan, her friends only noticed the roses he left on her desk (Weiss, 2004, 123). Every time he hurt her, he covered it up with presents. These sessions of abuse and gift-giving show how the cycle of abuse works. Abusers want to stay in control. Making sure that their victim does not leave or re-gain control, they use tactics like apologizing and giving presents to keep the relationship going. If the relationship ends, their power