Introductory Paragraph Analysis

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I found this essay very interesting and easy to read. The introductory paragraph of this essay clearly tells me what the rest of the essay will be about. The introduction lists the topics for the body paragraphs in order, and has a clearly stated thesis. My favorite thing about the introduction is that I can relate to it so well. The author acknowledges the rights women already have and includes the rights we still do not have. Rather than implying women do not have rights, it asserts women’s rights are not equal to those of men. The thesis states, “Gender wage gap, double standards, and social media still threaten to hinder women in their everyday lives.” Although women have come a long way, there are still a few issues where our rights are not …show more content…
As I mentioned earlier, the introduction lists the topics of the following paragraphs in order. The writer maintains focus and does not wander from topic to topic. The essay is well thought out, and each paragraph sticks to a specific idea. While the organization is effective, the writer should have used more transitional words or phrases to help the essay flow more smoothly. The transitions that the writer does include are clear. Each paragraph has a topic sentence, but it is not necessarily a strong topic sentence. Instead of saying, “Another problem for women is lack of respect.” the writer could have said “Another issue for women is that they are not respected and are subjected to double standards.” As a woman myself, I am very intrigued by this essay. I enjoy the facts that are given throughout this essay. I also think that the order of the essay itself is very nice. The topics naturally flow from one to another. I realize the target audience for this essay is women. However, this essay could have been made more interesting for a male reader. If the essay is to be successful all around, it must appeal to the male readership as

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