Dear Jesse, I just thought of what happened today and honestly during that statement "as of today I will not consider you as my brother." When you said that it hit me like a bag of rocks, it really made me sad to know that I wasn't gonna be acknowledge by my closest friend that I came to know and cherish. But even though this was gonna be one of my greatest event in my life I promised my self to not let this scar my life. I thought to myself during that time ... well I thought rejection to that, and that it was just a joke. After awhile the point got into my head that "hey maybe this could be better." At this point I was still very sketchy about the idea but now I am just going to say that I disagree. From this day on I dont care what the situation is that I still will no matter what take you in as my brother and nothing less. Yes, I was going to agree but as I calm down I realize that I was being a jerk. And actually I would actually dislike me but one of the reasons I am really stubborn is because as I grew up I was always bullied. It was constant rascist remarks of my being asain and unfit in anything but math. So as I grew up I became stubborn as shit, and I never knew if you noticed but I remembered I had extreme OCD (I still do have ocd kinda that is some times why I dont go to buffets because I am also a germaphobe :P). For example if there was anything that could have the slightess chance of not being right even 0.1 % change of it being wrong I would go back and check. And if i wasnt sure again I would do it again. But in school I was very stubborn because I was called asain Jason or even my little asain. Damn it im not a possesion bitches... but understand that as I was around 10 I started not caring about any other peoples remarks about me. I didnt care about my fashion I dont care about my looks, but you know I didnt want to be that disgusting shit. So I still cleaned up but you know. But there were even times where I asked mom and dad if i was just ugly because I was different and didn't know why. Well you know until I found out that there where a million others like me. But there are certain reasons that I dont care about what people say about me because I dont really want to impress people. But in actually I do so I guess that is one of the reasons I still do stick with groups and other stuff.
