In Major Paper 2 we were expected to analyze education today. The problem with Major Paper 2 is that I would often forget to analyze education throughout my essay, especially in the commentary included after the evidence. My claim was that the emphasis on grades is leading students to believe that they are far more valuable than their learning. I fixed the issue by adding commentary that actually analyzed education and further supported my claim. An example of this is “As education continues to emphasize grades more than anything, schools will always have students with the mentality that grades are what matter most and this emphasis is not entirely necessary in …show more content…
In my claim, I outline the purpose of my essay by stating that there is an emphasis on grades that has students prioritizing them over learning which is not beneficial to them. Because it is an ongoing issue and it directly affects every student currently in education it matters and should be taken into consideration because as I state throughout my essay it is not positive. A statistic to prove this is that “By analyzing the survey data, more than three-fourths of the participants had at one point in their academic career cared more for a grade rather than their learning” (Major Paper 2). This thereby demonstrates that the shifting mentality of students matters and is occurring which meets yet another aspect of Outcome