Mexican Identity Research Paper

Words: 415
Pages: 2

As a first-generation Mexican American, I've fought to discover my actual identity. Not sure if I should be Mexican or American. People told me I was blessed for knowing two languages but cured for not being completely bilingual in either. I examined myself in the mirror, wondering why I wasn't tanned like my relatives but also not light like my classmates. I was referred to as Asian-looking because, when I smiled, my eyelids closed. I'd strain myself not to grin completely in photos because I didn't want that nickname. Even when I visited Mexico, people wondered whether I was adopted, which made me feel even more lost.

Visiting Mexico seemed familiar to me, albeit in a foreign language. I would receive the same questions wherever I went. Can you speak English? Can you speak Spanish? Are you a nanny or a nanny? Why can't you talk correctly? Do you even know how to read and write? Where are you from? I wasn't sure how to respond, and I was afraid to answer poorly. I refused to talk in any language I understood for fear of making a mistake. As a tiny child, I was concerned about making errors and being mocked for being "stupid". When I originally couldn't speak English, I was assigned to two English lessons in
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My relatives began to protest to me, wondering why I wasn't progressing. I began to resent my family and blamed them for failing to raise me properly. They never taught me the correct language, and I despise that they never taught me to read or write. I loathe myself for not understanding how to talk properly, write, or read at all. I despised being Mexican because I had no idea how to be Mexican. All I knew was that my parents were Mexican, but I was not. I have the title, but am I genuinely Mexican? I don't wear their style, I don't apply their make-up, I don't dance like them, and I don't even eat half of their typical food. So, am I simply an