"To be frank, you are not like those smartest students in this class. You've got to work much harder than others to achieve as much as they do. But I know you do work much harder than others do. You are one of the hardest workers in this class. And that helped you to stay in this class."
Said my AP Calculus teacher, Mr. Gerber, during the counseling session that was held at the end of 2008. My high school was not based on Advanced Placement (AP) curriculum but they offered AP Calculus class under special obligation. First, students in the class were required to pass the AP Calculus exam in their 11th grade. Second, the class was held two hours before the start of the regular school hours. Therefore all of the students in the class had to be recommended by their mathematics teacher for such challenging oppotunity. I was fortunate enough to be part of the project, but was never good enough. In the class of chosen mathematics geniuses, I had to ask more questions and solve more practice questions to be on the same page. I had to sprint in my full speed to get the passing score while other people were competing against each other for the best score.…show more content… Natural ability had never once played a role. The first report card I received from middle school was a compilation of F and I started AP Class with the lowest score. I graduated my undergraduate degree with a GPA of 2.41, decorating the transcript with every possible letters. I failed Army physical fitness test two times in the basic combat training. Efforts were never seemed to be rewarded and soon self-hatred filled my mind due to the lack of coveted result. An unadulterated loathing gnawed at the self-confidence. Anxiety and pressure inflamed by my frustration. There was a time when I felt so lost within the forlorn
