Personal Narrative: My Life As A Black Girl

Words: 1199
Pages: 5

Being an empowered black woman has made me feel uncomfortable in certain spaces where I feel judged for my skin color. Although most of the hate is not direct I can still feel tension. This may be one of the reasons I contemplate which colleges I should go to and where I should take jobs especially certain areas like places there are a lot of white people like in westchester or upstate New York. Mainly places where I know that I will be perceived and judged in a negative light just for how I look. Although I do face racism, the main problem being a black female is the way I am seen as a highly sexualized by males. To them I am just another beautiful black girl with golden brown skin and curves. I am seen as a fetish. Because of this my family …show more content…
It might have started when I was sexually abused by a close family member at the age of six. After that, the wall just got bigger and bigger as I experienced more. At school, I was bullied by my peers because I was the smallest in my class. Other kids used to call me names, curse at me, and one time a bigger girl wanted to fight me. It did not really hurt me. Since I was short I was always the line leader on the girls’ line and I was had other short people surrounding me which made me feel less self conscious of my height. At home, my family made me feel stupid since I was bad at math. I got physical punishments for not understanding math or just playing around like a normal child would do. Although I do remember crying silently a lot afraid someone would hear me most of my traumatic memories regressed and I forgot them. But those incidents had made my self-esteem worsen. Thus, affecting me psychologically. At the age of twelve I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My parents refused to believe it and forced me to pray “my demons” away. As of now, I still struggle with depression and borderline personality …show more content…
It certainly helped me through my pain and the daily internal struggle I had. Poetry, mainly, made me open up what was happening inside of me. Including the battle between my love for myself and him and my fears.
After all I have been through I developed Post traumatic stress disorder and attempted suicide six different times. This past year has been so hard for me with my depression and how people around me make me feel about myself and in a means of survival I must in a way run away because I can not heal in the same place I got sick. My main reason for leaving is to get away from the fear that is holding me back from everything that I have experienced and controlling and owning my actions. This is essential in order for me to find out who I truly am I must leave and not fear my