Personal Narrative: Personal Identity

The world does not work like a digital clock where a discrete set of numbers is presented and one must accept what is shown. The world is more similar to an analog clock, where all possibilities are present and one can assume one is correct based on approximation but is never entirely sure of said approximation. For someone who lives in such world, I have had to learned to embrace the contradictions both society and myself impose upon my different identities as well as my position in respect to them. I am an immigrant, born and raised in El Salvador who moved to the United States way too late in his life to consider it his home but early enough to embrace the good aspects of its culture. I am also a gay cis-gendered male who is beginning to …show more content…
I often encounter the pressure of having to live up to the romanticized narrative for the immigrant while simultaneously having to face people questioning my sexuality because, in their perspective, I do not “act like a gay”. Lastly, I have had to face people who felt surprised that I was Catholic because according to them “I was too intelligent for that”. Because I did not want to face those prejudices, I decided to downplay of those identities as much as I could and tried to move through life. I tried to assimilate to American culture in order to not have all the expectations of the “successful immigrant” story on my shoulders. I tried to act as straight as possible in order to not face homophobia while simultaneously not being expected to act an specific way in order to validate my identity. I tried to suppress any form of devotion in order to not be perceived as an intellectual lightweight. Things changed as I got to Davis; however, as I decided to be more open about my identities given that this was my chance to start a new life without having to carry the burden of judgement from people I knew. This is not to say opening up about my identity has been any easier, but at least I am finally able to fully allow each element of my identity to influence the way in which I process information as I can …show more content…
In the article, Pascoe discusses the way in which the term f*g should not be simplified to a homophobic slur but should also be seen as a mechanism employed by teenage boys in order to hold each other accountable for doing masculinity properly. She discusses the ways in which “the f*g” represents a masculinity that has been dominated and hence cannot be regarded as a true masculinity. She states “Fa**ts represent a penetrated masculinity [...] Penetrated men symbolize a masculinity devoid of power, which, in its contradiction, threatens both psychic and social chaos” (Pascoe 329). In this instance, Pascoe is stating that the f*g identity represents a male whose power had been subjugated to another male, which goes against the hegemonic ideal of masculinity in which males are always meant to be in dominant positions. Here, Pascoe describes the way in which this slur, while maintaining homophobic connotations, can be utilized to describe a male who is not doing masculinity properly according to society, which means that the slur itself has the potential to be employed as a device to

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