This essay is not about mild confusions, such as transposing digits in a telephone number or forgetting an appointment. The topic is the kind of profound confusion that leaves all the parties to a conversation shaking their heads, if not their fists, and arguing about what went wrong. This essay is about breakdowns in common ground.
These breakdowns are insidious because each person erroneously believes s/he is on the same wavelength as the other. They may not discover their error until it is too late to avoid damage.
Here’s an example. Many years ago I was invited to a meeting on helping the Army train officers forleadership and decision making. At the meeting, a Colonel from the Army’s Training and Doctrine Command explained that many small unit leaders had ta be removed because of poor leadership skills. A representative from an army laboratory jumped in and described the new three-part leadership training program his unit had just completed. Next, a technology developer explained how his organization’s new virtual environment platform could be perfect for presenting the training. Everyone in the room was enthusiastic about this new project. Everyone but me.Find a TherapistSearch for a mental health professional near you.
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I asked the Colonel to explain the kinds of leadership problems that were plaguing him. He confessed that he didn’t know. All the records stated was that the lieutenants and captains had to be removed because of leadership problems. “That could be micromanagement or lack of management. Excessive strictness or excessive permissiveness. Being too punitive or too soft. Don’t you have any more details?” He admitted that he didn’t. I explained that the term “leadership problem” was so vague it could cover anything. And because we didn’t know what the real problem was, how could we be confidant