What I plan to do is to discuss cultural and individual psychological barriers to love and intimacy, then the theory of love, and finally some tools for lovers. I will be speaking primarily of heterosexual relationships but all of what I say will apply equally to same sex unions, to the best of my knowledge.
Cultural Barriers:
In his article on commitment in relationships Doherty points out that UU’s have been in something of a bind. For years religious liberals have been advocating freedom from the shackles of orthodox religion in matters of divorce. In doing so however, we are in a sense degrading the sanctity of intimate relationships. It is as if we are condoning the idea that marriage is a commodity that can be utilized and then disposed of. Religious liberals thus appear to be supporting the attitude in the culture that we can “trade-up” when the going gets rough in marriage and one’s “needs” are not being met. There is a tendency to think of love as something we “get” rather than “give.” In a consumer-oriented society transactions are most often