Sometimes I thought, but this is your life. Stop fighting it. Stop fighting. Or I thought, but I am happy. And he loves me. I am safe. Sometimes, when he was not near me, I thought, I will never let him touch me again. Then, when he touched me, I thought, it doesn't matter, it is only the body, it will soon be over. When it was over, I lay in the dark and listened to his breathing and dreamed of the touch of hands, of Giovanni's hands, or anybody's hands, hands which would have the power to crush me and make me whole again …show more content…
Still, he did not know how to accept or embrace this passion or so¬ called feelings. He could never be true to himself in his relationship with Giovanni because David's fears always keep him away from the idea of his true humanity. This action prevents David's possibility of accepting true love for Giovanni and expresses his true identity in the society. To emphasize David's restrictions, Hella's long ¬distance relationship allows David to experiment with his emotional feelings and fears, but it prevents him from going forward with his feelings that he has with Giovanni. David knew that Hella's return from her traveling prevents David's further action with Giovanni, his true love. "Giovanni knew that I was going to leave him, but he did not dare accuse me for fear of being corroborated. I did not dare to tell him. Hella was on her way back from Spain and my father had agreed to send me money, which I was not going to use to help Giovanni, who had done so much to help me. I was going to use it to escape his room." (Baldwin 282). David could not leave Giovanni's room easily as he thought he could. David thinks that his life with Hella and his commitment to marry her the only way for him to escape from the place he both loved and hated. David is not only thrilled, but satisfies his needs for the false society when he read Hella's written consent to marriage. After receiving her letter, David