Professor Bagaglio
English 1020
17 February 2015
Revision Memo In the feedback from my instructor, I was told that overall I had a good paper. I opened with the statistics of child abuse, which caught the reader’s attention and had them interested right away. I did a great job analyzing the text and describing all forms of visual text. For example, you pointed out how I mentioned celebrities being verbally abused because no one considers them to be abused as well. However, I did not receive a grade A because I have a few mistakes. The feedback pointed out that I had grammatical issues with spelling, punctuation use, and wordiness that can be distracting. I did notice that I spelled one word wrong in the title. Instead of putting two p’s in the word stopping, I only included one. I understand that I also had two minor punctuation errors. I removed the semicolon from behind the word “parent’s” in the third paragraph. In the fifth paragraph, I deleted the comma from behind the word “case”. Moreover, I rearranged sentences and deleted words because there was feedback about the way my paper was arranged. This revision was done so the paper could flow better. I decided to take heed from the feedback and revise my paper because those minor mistakes could have easily been avoided if I had proofread the paper before submitting it. This is the first paper (also the easiest) therefore I want a final grade of an A on this. I corrected all of my errors, and I think that I have improved my paper for a higher score.
Maresha Payne
Professor Bagaglio
English 1020
17 February 2015
Stopping Verbal Abuse
There are 3.6 million reported cases of child abuse every year in the United States. Approximately 80% of reported cases were caused by one or more of the victim’s parents. Physical abuse is more visible, but there are other types of abuse that has the same affect. One prime example is verbal abuse. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “verbal abuse is a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim or by withholding any response thereby defining the target as non-existent.” I remember the nursery rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” That cliché’ is far from true. Studies have shown that words can be just as harmful as physical abuse. From personal experiences, I have suffered from verbal abuse. I can validate that words hurt just as well and can be as damaging as physical abuse. The scars from verbal assaults can last for years. Scars can not only be physical, but mental as well. Those scars also leave people unsure of themselves because they eventually begin to believe everything that has been said to or about them. Constantly being criticized and told that you are not good enough causes you to lose confidence and lowers your self-esteem. Please remember, words are just as destructive as weapons.
A powerful image can change a persons’ perspective on a certain situation. This picture, which was created by the Juvenile Protective Association, is a perfect example because it is simple yet creative. The visual shows a child being chocked by hurtful words and informs people that words can really get to a child emotionally. The grey background gives us a very depressing image on verbal abuse towards another person. The grey was also chosen because it is a sad color which matches the pain that the boy is feeling. The background is plain so that the viewer focuses more on the child. In my ad, the artist puts bold print on the words that are commonly hurtful towards other people. He uses words such as pig, fool, punk, and much more. However, the abusive language is printed in black, which symbolizes darkness. In the boy’s eyes, we witness ton of emotions that are heartbreaking. The authors chose to picture a boy instead of a girl to show that verbal abuse affects both boys and girls. In today’s society, young boys are supposed to be strong and