Surviving Acts of Betrayal Essay

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Surviving Acts of Betrayal Everyday, throughout the world there are new relationships formed. There are so many different relationships seen, relationships with friends, family and romantic partners. With each relationship, there comes a point in time when one of the partners betrays the other. Betrayal is seen in many different ways, some causing a lot of damage in a relationship and some causing none at all. Two theories that are helpful when dealing with betrayal are the social exchange theory and the uncertainty theory. The social exchange theory is “the point of view that in relationships people try to minimize costs, maximize rewards, and ensure quality” (Wood, 2004, p. 192). In simpler terms, this theory means that you make sure you are going to get a fair amount out of the relationship from what you put in it. The uncertainty reduction theory is “the point of view that uncertainty motivates communication and that certainty reduces the motivation to communicate” (Wood, 2004, p. 185). In simpler words, this theory means that you reduce the uncertainty by getting to know someone. The use of these two theories is seen most when learning how to deal with the possible outcomes of the betrayal in relationships. The use of these two theories is extremely important to the use of our communication in our relationships when dealing with betrayal. Aside from these two specific theories, there are also a number of theories that are used throughout the communication world that help us understand when people relate with one another. The value of communication is also significant. Communication is used when almost doing anything, like talking on the phone or listening the radio. It is shaping the person we are becoming. Communication has a huge impact on our individual being. The findings in Timothy Levine, Sang-Yeon Kim & Merissa Ferrara, Social Exchange, Uncertainty, and Communication Content as Factors Impacting the Relational Outcomes of Betrayal, discuss the many ways to understand the effects that come from betrayal in romantic relationships. “Betrayal refers to an instance in which one person in a relationship is unfaithful to a relational expectation” (Levine et al., p. 305). There are many different types of betrayal that can be seen in a romantic relationship: sexual and emotional infidelity, deception, and broken promises. Emotional and sexual infidelity is where a partner in the relationship is “cheating” with another person emotionally or sexually. Deception is where a partner says or does things that are not true to make he or herself or a situation look better. Broken promises are where a partner says they are going to do a particular thing but that thing never happens. Depending on how major a betrayal is there may be different outcomes in the relationship. These are not limited to all the betrayals that can occur, but they are seen as the more common of the betrayals that do occur. Despite the emotional response that comes from dealing with a betrayal, there are three main outcomes after a betrayal, from a social exchange point of view, they are ending of the relationship, temporary damage or may even make the relationship stronger. If the relationship is satisfying before the betrayal happens the better the relationship has its chances of surviving and not ending. The outcome after a betrayal is not the only important thing to think about, but also prior to the betrayal should be thought about as well. If someone invests a lot of time and effort into a relationship ending a relationship over a betrayal is less likely. When looking at the other theory, uncertainty reduction theory, betrayal is looked at a little different. Although the outcomes are the same, which include, the relationship ending, temporary damage or making the relationship stronger, the outcomes are viewed more through the levels of uncertainty in the relationships before and after the betrayal. If the uncertainty is not reduced from the
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