Growing up meant a loss of friends, playdates, and people to sit with at lunch. I used to hate feeling lonely. I understood hurt, I felt hurt, I was hurt. Crying was a response rather than a ritual. Emotion and feeling were a part of me. But time and sadness synthesize into soulless living, which conjures a numbness of the brain. I could not live my life without soul, so I began to watch the lives of others. Observations and analyzations became intuition that I thought filled the space where my feelings, opinions, and sense of self used to be. I liked being able to read other people, judge them, and predict their thoughts and words. And so I was the critique, the reader, the viewer of my peers’ worlds, because I did not have a life of my own to be a part of. I did not realize that this behavior I had been partaking in for the past few years meant