Decision making is people’s achilles heel. Sometimes morality decides for us; other times morality yields its power to fear. Fear decides Tim O’Brien’s fate in becoming a veteran of the Vietnam War. A few months after his draft notice, O’Brien travels north towards the Rainy River that runs between Canada and America, with a strong desire to flee his country. However, during his ride across the river, O’Brien’s visions evoke an internal struggle and ultimately hamper him from defecting. He finally discerns that he could not flee from the Vietnam War without becoming subject to society’s criticism. The iconic visions from both Tim O'Brien’s and America’s past symbolize not only his and America’s loss of innocence, but also mirror his own internal…show more content… Twenty feet away from the Canadian border O’Brien must decide what to do. An inner struggle manifests itself in visions of people “urging [him] toward one shore or the other.”(56) On the one hand he wants to escape the brutality of war, but on the other he realizes that if he goes to Canada he will have to face unpleasant consequences. When he hears “ferocious citizens”( 56) scream “Traitor, and turncoat”(57) O’Brien understands that he cannot face the embarrassment that would come from defecting. He could not bear harsh criticism from his fellow citizens. Moreover, O’Brien recognizes that many people in his country were not faced with the same life or death situation. As a result, he further distances himself from the people he hallucinates about. O’Brien acknowledges the people in his life as the “audience to his life”(56). This implies that he sees his future as a draft evader in Canada as an action that is subject to criticism. He further states, “All those eyes on me… I couldn’t risk the embarrassment.”(56) Moreover, it is in this vision that O’Brien realizes something about himself; that he will not flee the country because he is afraid of tainting his reputation. He ultimately decides that he will not allow his morality to sway him. Rather it is the opinion of others and the fear of resentment from society that eventually galvanize him to go to
