Ultimate Black Friday Survival Guide

Bailey Burris
Mrs. Bashor
English Composition 1
6 September 2014
Ultimate Black Friday Survival Guide One day out of every year where people all over the United States go absolutely insane because towels are half-off at target sounds too crazy to be true, right? Wrong. This glorious day is called Black Friday. Shopping on Black Friday is very dangerous and should only be considered if you are in good health. You will need to go through a rigorous training period in order to shop your heart out. I am about to bless you with the ultimate Black Friday survival guide, so pay close attention. Your life could depend on it. Preparation is the first, and most important aspect of this adventure. Without the proper equipment you could find yourself …show more content…
Form teams of at least 3 people. Everyone in your party should be wearing the same bright color so no one gets lost. Never face the hoard alone without your team. Everyone should lock arms at all times. Make sure everyone has a cell phone and the numbers of everyone in their party in case of an emergency. If someone is without a cell phone, create an emergency yell. Have a safe word such as “apricots”. Only yell this word when you are in danger of losing a great deal to the soccer mom that lives next door to you. Create a plan of attack. Be aware of which coupons and sales to take advantage of. Download the RetailMeNot coupons app to help you get the best deals. If you find yourself in the middle of a large crowd and the store’s doors are about to open, you’re in the danger zone. Take note of the closest escape routes and don’t be afraid to shove old ladies. Its easiest to escape by moving through pockets of people at an angle. Keep your hands up like a boxer when you are making your way to the front of the line. This gives you more room to move and protect your chest. Pay attention to the ground so you don’t trip and only move in the same direction of the crowd. Failing to do this will result in falling down and being trampled. If you do happen to fall get up quickly. If getting up is no longer a possibility, cover your head with your arms and curl up into the fetal position. Do not lay on your stomach or back, as this …show more content…
I recommend sprinting if a crowd is already headed in that direction. Once you secure yourself the last door buster deal keep the item close to your body to enable others from grabbing it from you. If someone does, however, try to take your item use your body to pull away, not your arms. As you pull, begin to twist away and let loose a blood curdling war cry. More often than not, this alone is enough to scare off most retail perpetrators. Stay clear of getting into arguments. Many people carry pepper spray to this event to avoid losing a deal. If you find yourself in a situation where you have been pepper sprayed immediately run to the bathroom. Wash the exposed area with soap and water. Flush the area with cold water and keep the washed areas exposed to fresh are. This will help the irritant evaporate. Also beware of prompting cops to tase you. They will not hesitate. That is their only defense mechanism against these Black Friday animals. You will feel dazed and confused and unsteady on your feet. Despite popular belief, screaming, “Don’t tase me, bro!” will not help your

Show More

Related Documents: Ultimate Black Friday Survival Guide

Managing Information Technology (7th Edition) Essay