Tetra- Hydro-Presidential- Cannabinoid
By
Joshua Pike
“Use drugs and they will ruin your life and you’ll never amount to anything. You’ll never be President of the United States.” We have all haerd that in one sense or another. It sounds pretty viable. Well, maybe, I guess. I’m sure we have all heard about Washington and the hemp filled tales that go along with him, but were there others that got beamed up to Scotty by the wacky tobacky? From President Andrew Jackson to President Dwight Eisenhower, there is almost nothing in the way of historical record of presidents smoking pot. As we have learned, Pre-Civil War America was a land of hemp farmers and slaves who could commonly roll up some hemp leaf as a smoke. Post-Civil War America heralded the development of pre-rolled tobacco cigarettes and prejudice against the Mexican immigrants who smoked “marihuana”. Cannabis was becoming a patent medicine, so perhaps some presidents used it in that fashion. But by the turn of the 20th century the temperance movement was in full swing and states were beginning to prohibit cannabis. Pot smoking is not likely to be something the late 19th and early 20th century presidents wanted recorded for posterity, if they did it at all. Many Presidents were very adamant about their opinions on the subject. Ronald Reagan was not a presidential stoner, and given that he died from Alzheimer’s disease, it is a shame the Gipper wasn’t able to embrace the cannabis medicine that could have protected his brain. Not that he would have used it though, since Reagan told us, “I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast.” That’s some pretty crazy talk for a guy that doesn’t puff the loco weed. Are we sure he never toked? Richard Nixon was even crazier when it came to the ganja. Tricky Dick is the one who brought us this War on Drugs in the first place. The Nixon Tapes are replete with Nixon’s mix of irrational hatred of marijuana and non-white races and ethnicities, with quotes like, “I want a Goddamn strong statement on marijuana, I mean one that just tears the ass out of them. You know, it’s a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish.” Remember, this guy was the leader of the free world. Some presidents minimize their drug use like old William Clinton. When asked about his marijuana use, Bill Clinton famously said, “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana.
Then he added the old, “I did not inhale.” What the heck is that about? Who let Bill Clinton into the party? You hand him a joint and he doesn’t even know what to do with it. Maybe I was a little hard on Bubba. He
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might have been telling the truth. The late Christopher Hitchens, who attended Oxford with Clinton, said Bill had an affinity for pot brownies, so he may not have ever tried “it” (inhaling) ever again. Our current President, Barack Obama did the opposite and even kind of takes a friendly jab at Mr. Clinton. The current president wrote about his cocaine and marijuana use as a youth in Hawaii and famously said, “When I was a kid, I inhaled, frequently. That was the point,” when running for president in 2008. See, he knows what to do in that situation. He can probably do a mean keg stand. George Washington, The father of our country, I cannot lie, and the what not’s, kept meticulous diaries, where he noted, “Sowed hemp at muddy hole by swamp” That apparently translates to, away from the hemp he grew for fiber. “Began to separate the male from female plants at do [sic --rather too late” and “Pulling up the (male) hemp. Was too late for the blossom hemp by three weeks or a month” That translates that he indicates he was going for female plants with higher THC content. There is also
