I heard the phone ring. I ran upstairs answer, to hear from my mom who I hadn’t talked to in a few days. I picked up the phone with a bubbly “Hi Mommy!” jumping from my mouth. But I heard no words, all I heard was sobs. All I could feel was a lack of comfort and a feeling of the unknown. She finally spoke, very slowly. I made out the words “Granny…died.” Pause. Utter silence prevailed aside from the pounding of my heart and sobs of the strongest person I knew. I heard the sounds of laughter dancing up the stairs like little girls dancing in the sun, totally oblivious to anything but their own happiness. How could anyone be happy right now? How could they be laughing right now? The world just came to a halt. I could hear my brain yelling, “Speak! Say something!” but my heart could not find the words. I ran down the stairs, throwing the phone to my dad and collapsing in my stepmoms arms, finally feeling that comfort I had been lacking. They asked what was wrong, but words simply could not explain. Words just weren’t enough. I saw my dad speak, but the only thing I heard was silence. The only thing I felt was the walls caving in around me.
Those were the words that would change my life forever. The words will never escape my mind. The last words my mom spoke to her mother, “Shut up, you’re not dying.” And granny’s sleepy, soft, sweet, and sickly words, “Don’t be sad.” But the most important thing she ever said to me was, “I love you, sunshine.” Those 4 words. That sweet voice. Those loving eyes. That mischievous smile. Just those words.
Words have always reminded me of my granny. She always seemed to have a way to shape her words to make you feel happy, safe, or comfortable. She loved words, to read them, to write them, or just to enjoy them. There were certain things that she would say, that I will never forget. She always said “Courage is not