Essay on What If

Autobiographical Narrative
3 October 2013
“What If?” It was a frigid Friday night in the winter. The cold front came in after a few days of muggy and endless rains. It was a week that seemed endless, as the anticipation of what was to come Friday night was in the back of my friend, Matthew’s and my mind all week long. That Friday night was the all-known, annual Winter Bash. This was one of the most known and popular parties to attend every year. To maintain any sort of social status as a teenager at that time, it was required to attend. It was supposed to be one of the greatest nights of our lives, until it all turned to hell. That night all started as Matthew, my childhood friend that has been in my life for the past 17 years, arrived at my house optimistic about the night ahead. As I was getting dressed, I realized Matthew was messing with an object in his duffle bag. When he left the room to get dressed, I was extremely curious and snuck into his bag.
“No, it cannot be” I remorsefully said.
I discovered what I had dreaded to find. Matthew had a bag of pills. No, not your regular over the counter drugs: ecstasy. He was an addict of such drugs before, but I stopped him, or at least I thought I did. As he came out of the bathroom I held the bag of pills in my hand as a mom would hold up a bad report card that they received from their

child. He grinned at me. Not saying a word, he grabbed the bag and stuffed it to the bottom of his duffel bag.
“Are you insane?” I said, shocked.
“What do you mean? We’re just going to have some fun, turn up bro!” He turned around and headed for the car.
I, being the good friend that I have been for the past 17 years, asked “So, where did you get these from?”
Matthew responded with a resistant answer, “Do not worry about it bro.”
“Fine, do what you want, have fun but leave me out of it.” I said losing patience for his stupidity. I decided to drive knowing that Matthew would not be sober by the end of this night. The roads were wet and slippery, the air was gelid and dry, and there was not one little piece of the sky showing as black clouds hid the moon and stars. The night was dark and the frigid air gave me chills down my back. What I discovered in Matthew’s duffel bag had not ruined my night, but it refrained me from talking to him the whole car ride. I wouldn’t let what I saw ruin my night; I had been anticipating this night for too long. As we arrived to the party, Matthew took off, not even making eye contact with me, and went on his own without me. While he walked away, I had a strong feeling to go and stop him, but my anger blinded me and led me to remain in my seat, disgusted by his actions. I left my car and headed towards the huge crowds near the main stage. Lights flashed in all directions, confetti was thrown everywhere, and the vibrations from the

music shook the whole dance floor. Usually I would feel happy and joyful about all of this, but I had a bad feeling about tonight.
After about an hour into the Winter Bash, the feeling didn’t leave me. It stayed and followed me all night, like an annoying fly that would not go away. I could not take it anymore; I wanted to go home.
“Forget Matthew, he is being a jerk” I thought to myself. I stormed to my car mad, disturbed, and mostly hurt. I drove off with the sounds of music, happiness, and joy slowly fading away into the background. Soon enough, I found out that happiness and joy were not the only things fading away as I drove off, but also memories, a friendship, a loved one. As I returned back to my house I went straight for my room. I wanted to bundle up in my bed and forget that the night ever even happened. I thought about the night as I lied there, and how stupid it was of Matthew to do what he did. I lied there, ever so lonely, as my eyes began

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