1.) At the beginning of the story, the narrator attempts to sicken herself to get out of going to the Christmas dance because she is not ready for the sexual competition or tensions of High School.
a. ) While getting ready she constantly tells herself that she is unattractive and compares herself to hideous things. She does not have the attractive confidence in her appearance that she should. At one point she thinks, “…, her stylish dress and smooth hair made me look a little like a golliwog, stuffed into red velvet, wide-eyed, wild-haired, with a suggestion of delirium.” when comparing herself to her friend Lonnie. b.) Earlier in the story, before Lonnie’s appearance she is already getting prepared. As she applies face powder she seems to think that it, “…stood out chalkily on my hot face.” In reality, it probably didn’t. c.) When the girls arrive at the dance insecurity is emanating off of the narrator despite the fact that she is dressed so beautifully. A boy named Mason Williams is the first to dance with her and the dance does not go well. He ends it mid song. “I myself was not angry or surprised at Mason; I accepted his position, and mine, in the world of school and I saw that what he had done was the realistic thing to do.” She didn’t think she was good enough for him.
2.) After the failed dance attempt the narrator makes her way to the girls’ bathroom where she hides for a good portion of the dance until she finds company in a upperclassman, Mary Fortune.
a.) Mary, being an upperclassman, had almost a sort of ‘cool’ aura