Evaluative Communication Analysis

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1) What do I want to learn?

I want to learn to communicate supportively. In my Pam 4, I talk extensively about how I tend to focus on the person rather than the problem and use evaluative communication. This leads to the other person becoming defensive and ultimately leading to an argument. I’ve realized that in order to improve my relationship with my friend and in general, I need to focus on communicating supportively and trying to understand the other person’s perspective.

Symptoms:
• Using a lot “You did this” in my conversations
• Not asking the reason behind the actions
• Assuming that the actions that my friend took are not correct

The book specifies how using evaluative communication can make the other person defend his/her actions. …show more content…
Once the conversation was over, I asked my friend about his feelings about the new conversation.

He said, “I enjoyed this conversation. You were much more open than the last time. I knew that I took a last minute decision without asking you. However, you handled it really nicely this time. It felt like whatever we did today really helped clear all the misunderstandings.”

Once I had asked him about his feelings, I came back and wrote my own. I counted the number of times I experienced the symptoms during the conversation. • How many times did I use the phrase “You did this”: Once during the conversation
• Did I ask my friend the reason behind his actions? Yes
• During the conversation, at any point did I tell myself that the actions my friend took were incorrect: Not even once

5) What was my experience?

I was aware of the fact that I was trying to understand my friend’s perspective. During the conversation, I could hear a voice telling me to focus on his perspective again and again. Surprisingly, I felt in control of my emotions. I felt that I was able to not let my emotions get the better of …show more content…
I used this approach while Describing your own feelings lessens the chances of the other person being defensive
• Focusing on the alternative

I reframed my response I order to address all the three parts of descriptive communication.

7) Did I accomplish my learning objective?

I believe I did in fact accomplish my objective. I wanted to improve my relationship with my friend by using the tools of supportive communication. You set out to learn a skill in order to solve a problem for which you were experiencing. By correctly identifying the symptoms of my problem and consciously addressing them during the conversation, I changed an argument into a constructive conversation.

8) Overall, what did I learn?

The biggest learning from this exercise was how small changes in the way you communicate can have such a big impact on your relationship. Another thing that I realized was that when you try to take a step in the right direction, people always support you. I realized how open my friend was to having another conversation with me and how willing he was to help me get
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