Family and Tough Love Essay

Tough Love

Tough love is defined as a mixture of toughness and warmth used in a relationship, especially with an adolescent (Dictionary). Many children, especially African American children, have experienced some form of tough love. Every black mother has said to their child and possibly someone else’s child “This hurts me as much, if not more than it hurts you” as they proceed to give one of the many beatings that child will receive in his/her life. Normally, as a child the saying will go misunderstood because they’re the ones physically in pain. Growing up I’ve finally understood. Parents don’t willingly want to hurt their child but if it’s what will get them to behave properly they have to. Unfortunately tough love can produce two different outcomes when used on children.
Tough love was originally intended for adult drug addicts, not for young children still learning about life. Tough love as used by the parents in public places only teaches a child the harmful and illogical lesson that purposely hurting another human being is supposedly "an act of love" (Study Mode). To a parent it may seem like the right technique to use but you’ll never know how the child may take it. What may work for one child may not work for another and the whole use of tough love will be a waste. A prime example is Hitler. His grandmother made him go to church, and he was often humiliated and disciplined harshly. What was thought to be putting him on the straight and narrow turned out to perpetuate his anger, which led to him killing over 6 million people later on in life. Not saying that every child used to tough love will turn out to be like Adolf Hitler, but some will make other bad decisions because of the way they were raised.
However, there are children who most absolutely need a belt on their tail. “A hard head will make a soft ass” is what my grandmother Theresa Cox used to say as a warning. All seven of her grandchildren experienced that line, especially me. Everyone knew once those words came out her mouth it was best to sit and be quiet. Unfortunately, I was a hard headed little child. As her only granddaughter, I was supposed to be the little angel. Instead I had a very atrocious attitude. I mouthed off to any and everybody but I knew better than to try my grandmother. Although my day finally came to experience one of her legendary beatings. One day we were in a Dots Clothing Store when I decided to misbehave. She turned to me and said “Where you act up at is the same place I show out at.” Fortunately for me, there happened to be a police officer in the store but when we got home it was a whole different story. After that day my attitude changed and no one really had a problem with my behavior anymore. Although there still are times that I stray off the

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