Sanders starts the essay jumping right into the new depressing subject matter noting how when “Left alone, [his] father prowls the house…I lie there hating him, loving him, fearing him, knowing I have failed him…He would not hide the green bottles in his toolbox…would not fall asleep in the daylight…would not drink himself to death, if only I was perfect” (Influence 135). Sanders’ first use of asyndeton places an emphasis on his feelings towards his father and it used to show that even though the list has only a few of his feelings, the list is actually a lot longer that. Sanders also uses asyndeton in the same excerpt but instead at the end. This time he uses it to emphasize what he thinks his father wouldn’t do if he was a perfect child, and once again this list seems to go on and on. Not only serving as a jarring and harsh opening to a drastically different essay than the first, the excerpt also instills a depressed, solemn tone that will continue for the remainder of the text. Sanders also recalls once when he “[slipped] into the garage or barn to see [his] father tipping back a flat green bottle of wine…and then when his bloodshot gaze bumping into [him], [he] stashes