If you look at fights with your partner as something that puts a damper on your whole day or week, you may have trouble dealing with them in a healthy, productive way. Disagreeing with your partner sucks, for sure, but it doesn’t have to be a horrible thing. Work on changing how you look at fights— they’re not something to dread; they can be something to learn from. Then, practice good conflict resolution skills in which you learn how to get to the bottom of disagreements and work together to come up solutions.
==Steps==
===Shifting Your Perspective ===
#Realize that disagreements are a normal part of all relationships. Fights are a fact of life. This the first and perhaps most important thing you need …show more content…
You don’t have the same thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, so it’s expected that you’ll disagree.
#*If you fall prey to self-pitying thoughts, like “Why does he/she have to disagree with me?” you prevent yourself from being able to learn and grow from the situation. You also prevent yourself from getting to know how your partner truly thinks and …show more content…
Then, swap papers.
#*If you’re off the mark, work together to agree on one issue to discuss. Then, keep to this issue.
#Take turns using “I statements” to share your feelings. “You” statements make the other person defensive, which means it's harder for either of you to get your point across. Opt for non-threatening “I” statements instead. Hear the other person out—without interruptions—before saying your part. (-- removed HTML --) https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-steps-to-fight-better-if-your-relationship-is-worth-fighting-for/ (-- removed HTML --)
#*An “I” statement might sound like, “I feel scared when you threaten to end the relationship over minor disagreements. I wish that we could work through issues without having to threaten a breakup.”
#Stay focused on finding a solution. After you’ve shared your perspectives, there’s no need to rehash how things went down. That’s now all in the past, so you should invest your energies towards the future. What can you do to resolve the issue? (-- removed HTML --) http://time.com/4210187/relationships-fight-questions/ (-- removed HTML --)
#*Ask your partner a question to initiate compromise like, “What do you need from