Life Space Violations

Words: 1134
Pages: 5

The first lesson I have learned about how to deal with life space violation is choosing the right behavior in different situations. From the book, I understand that being assertive in most situations will bring me a lot benefit such as I will feel good about myself and the way I solve problems with other people. I will also have a good relationship with other people because I will not accept to be a victim of a person who is violating my space, but at the same time I will not violate space of others. However, despite being assertive is not always the best choice in every single situation, then it is a time for me to consider of being aggressive or passive. Although there are many benefits to be assertive, there is also a price for that such …show more content…
Instead of talking directly to the person who is violating my space, I keep thinking about it inside my mind and hurt my feeling from those thinking. Then my emotion keep raising inside me so I will be easier to become out of control when the other person mention about that problem even though it should not be that serious. For example, my previous roommate loves to invite his friends to our apartment at nighttime and they talking loudly, which is really disturb me because I usually go to bed at 10pm. However, as a reflective, I do not want to have any argument or conflict therefore I choose to keep silent. Then, one day everything was become too much for me, I entered his room and yell at him and even his friends that how could they being noisy like that at this time. Until now I still regret of that action because if I talk to him gently in a constructive way it will not make bad result like that. Moreover, I should not show my anger to him in front of his friends. After that he apologize to me but our relationship would never be like before, and after a short time he has moved out and give that room to another …show more content…
Through class discussion, we have listed many different mistakes but the one I feel that I use most is expanding the issue. Whenever I have arguments I tend to bring other issue to what I am discussing about with the person who I am confronting of. For example, when I argue with my roommate about he forgot to pay some of our bills which lead to making us to pay extra penalty money. Instead of just reminding him to not forget doing that in future, I keep talking about all other problems while we living together such has he is very lazy in washing dishes, not keeping living room clean…etc. I will definitely reduce my tendency of using this mistake because it does not help my communication in dealing with space violator effectively. It also brings up more problems while we have not resolved the first problem. After all, it will harm the relationship between me and my roommate if I keep expanding issues whenever we have