Marriage Viability Essay

When we were first given this assignment, I was nervous about it . The thought of asking the coouples such personal questions was intimidating to me. Once I got over the feeling that I was prying into their personal lives I found that I learned a lot from this project and even found it to be quite interesting (and dare I say it, even ....fun).

I put a lot of thought into who I would interview, I tried to select couples of varying ages, education levels, and relationship styles, so that I would get more of a variety in my information. I used the questionarre that we compiled in class as a starting point. I printed them off in a worksheet format and gave them to the couples to fill out seperatly and I then interviewed them together. I also got to know them on a more personal level and observed the way they communicate with each other.

First let me introduce and give a little background on my project paticipants. I interviewed three couples in diverse age ranges and backgrounds. The first couple, ( I will call them couple K) is not currently married but they have been living together for four years. The male is in his late 30s and is employed as a janitor at a local university, when they marry in July it will be his fourth marriage. He has two young sons from a previous relationship but they do not have children together. The female in couple K is in her early 20's. She is employed at Dollar General. When they marry it will be her first marriage.

There is a certain unknown element to this assignment because most people are different behind closed doors away from the eyes and ears of others. As in the case with couple K, on paper they agreed on almost everything. When I interviewed them in person however, I noticed that the male answered all the questions while the female remained quiet. He answered for both of them saying things like " We do it this way." or " She doesn't like that". I tried to direct some of my questions to her specifically and he would jump in before she could respond. This couple was probably the most difficult. They gave only short answers to my questions, (even leaving some questions blank.) and when I was talking to them I always had a sense that there was more not being said.

They both admitted to fighting often, and they couple had varying opinions on two things: Money and the way the resolve conflict. Based on this and my observations, I think that couple K (while I do believe they care for each other) has some disagreements that need discussing before they go further in their commitment to each other. So I feel uncertain about the viabality of their relationship. Based on this assignment, and my observations I believe that couple K has the greatest likelihood of divorce out of my three couples.

My next couple, (Couple L) has a very interesting background story. They are the textbook definition of a statistic. Both parties are in their early 30's , they grew up in South City Saint Louis, both were previous drug users, who never finished High School. They were heavily involved in gang activity and that is kind of reflected in the way that they talk . They have a lot street vancular, he calls her his "woman" or his "old lady"' and she in turn refers to him as "Ol boy" or My old man". They have been together since they were 14 and 16. When she was 15, the female in Couple L became pregnant with their first child. (She had all three of their children before she was 21.) She went to a Penecostal school at the time, so she was consequently expelled. She got a permit and began working.

Growing up the male had no contact with his father. He is one of 7 children, all with different fathers and he was raised by his grandfather. His mother was murdered when he was 14, he told me that this distroyed his already turbulent childhood, and sent him spiraling out of control. The turning point for couple L came when they were introduced to church by a family friend.
They have now been married for

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