These three other girls soon became a big part of my life. Unfortunately, the petty fights never really stopped - the targets were just re-directed. I suddenly found myself surrounded by people who were tearing me down. Things like “You’re too sensitive” and “We were just joking” were said often. I didn’t find the humor in jokes about my appearance. Making excuses not to hang out began to become a pattern for me. I continuously asked myself, “Why am I still friends with these girls?” I was too in denial to admit that I was just scared to be alone again. Our friendship ended; the irony in it being not because I took the initiative, but because I was accused of not being a good friend. Being rejected by people that have become such a constant part of my life was hard. Having to be alone made me realize that I never really knew who I was without them. Being able to reassess my past relationships and now see the obvious patterns. I was still wounded from the “loss” of my father, and I was unconsciously associating every other relationship in my life with him. Either too scared to open up to people or clinging with dear life to situations that may not be in my best