I told them what we drank and how much of it. I was taken to the station, asked a series of questions and taken home. June 10. My mother and Step-dad were out of town on a camping trip, they would be here in an hour or so. So many god-damned thoughts in my head. I envied how easy it was for people to love themselves, how easy it was to forgive themselves. Visuals of everything I had ever done wrong began to pervade my mind, clouding my judgement. I was not worth the trouble, I would be better off dead, that is truly what I believed. I slowly made my way to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the white bottle, filled to the brim with extra strength pain pills. I then made the short two strides to the fridge and grabbed a fresh, cool bottle of water. Made my way upstairs and closed the bathroom door. The details here become slightly fuzzy, at that moment I had given up on myself. As a tear rolled down my already dampened cheeks, I twisted open the safety cap and gazed down at the blue and red capsules. I remember dumping as many pills as I could into my hand and into my mouth. Feeling the pills go down my throat like a hundred thousand tiny stones weighing me