This is why it is important to learn about our three coping brain functions as they are sensitive to when we experience emotional pain. The common emotionally wounding experiences that often lead to human upsets and stress involve, loss, rejection, betrayal, and humiliation.
Since we are helpless at birth, we have a coping brain that, even right after we are born, is very sensitive to our being abandoned and dying. Loss creates such a powerful, instinctive brain danger signal that is the most common fear that our emotional coping brains are sensitized to detect.
Our emotional coping brain is the seat of our ability to sense social attachments and a sense of belonging with others. The emotional brain senses when someone we want to be friends with ignores or rejects us for some reason. Rejection is one of the most common, everyday reasons for becoming upset and stressed. This is the main coping challenge we face as we begin to turn from parents to peers for our sense of …show more content…
One of the most power ways our brain learns how to cope is by practicing different ways of dealing with upsets that we find challenging and difficult to deal with. One problem with learning to cope by trial and error is that we may learn coping habits that are harmful to us or others. We need to experiment with different coping methods, but we also need to remember that we have a thinking brain that is nearly fully developed by age eleven or twelve, which means we can learn how to use coping skills and tools that are safe, healthy and effective for getting over our upsets without harming ourselves or